How to Use Mindfulness For Healing What Bothers You

How to Use Mindfulness For Healing What Bothers You


Okay, sometimes we have to use mindfulness for healing, to find out the reason why we’re irritated or pissed off or struggling. It keeps eating away at us. There are times when we need to heal and we can move on without knowing the reasons why, without knowing the past or the deep core things that are bothering us. But sometimes we do.

Sometimes we have to acknowledge that energy, sometimes Spirit or our body, or a memory needs to be acknowledged. Or we need to learn something about a cycle we have, or an issue that we face, that keeps triggering us or keeps coming up.

There’s a simple process about how you can do this called the 5 Whys Process that will help dig deep to create full awareness for you of why you’re triggered, and create mindfulness for what to do about it.

Use the 5 Whys Process to Create Mindfulness for Healing

I actually learned this when I worked in the corporate world. We would figure out processes and ways to make things streamlined and simpler. But I figured, why not use it with my personal growth too?

I started using it with my spiritual practice and with overcoming things, trying to learn more about myself, etc. It actually is a really simple tool I’m going to share with you today. Because the real reason you’re upset, angry, or triggered is not the reason you think it is. I’m going to show you how to do this; it’s really simple. This process is going to help you discover the deep core reasons of:

  • why you feel the way you do,
  • why you’re doing what you’re doing,
  • why you’re thinking or repeating something,
  • or just plain why it’s a big deal.

There are several layers that we can dig down through that comes with it. But before I explain the whole process, let me tell you a story.

How I Used the 5 Whys Process to Overcome Some Anxiety

I have four children, and my first three were born when I was in my 20s. That’s like the prime age for moms and pregnancy and birth, everything’s healthy and well. But once you get into your 30s, 35 and over especially, if you’ve done your research, that is when there are more risks. That’s when chances of Down Syndrome, or problems during pregnancy and how your baby develops, increases at 35, mid-30s, and up.

So, I was 35 when I got pregnant with my fourth, and I started to freak out a little. I was technically considered an older “high-risk mother.” Not high-risk, as in I had a history of problems, I didn’t have a history of problems, but high-risk as in, “Oh, you are a senior pregnant mother.”

I started to have a little bit of this fear, “Oh my word, what if my baby doesn’t develop right? What if there’s a problem?” And I was kind of scared, and I was nervous, and I was looking at the odds. Then I started realizing I needed to kind of dig down as to why I feel this way, and learn what I need to know, so that I can just release, let this go and move past it.

So, I did the five whys exercise I’m going to teach you now, that created some mindfulness for healing this anxiety I had about something I couldn’t control.

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The 5 Whys Process That Creates Mindfulness For Healing

Almost always as you go through this process, you’re going to dig down five to seven layers deep. I’ll walk you through it in just a moment. Most often, you will come to the bottom, and you will learn the core reason why you have this angst or this struggle is because you have this fear of not being enough.

Let me show you how this is done. Here’s what to setup first:

  • Get out a fresh sheet of paper and pen. (no pencils for erasing!)
  • Write the problem at the top, the issue, whatever’s bothering you, the fear, whatever it is, write that at the top.
  • As we go through this process, don’t hesitate or think or justify or judge what answers and thoughts come up for you. As we move through this process, I want you to write down the very first thing that comes to mind without questioning.

Okay, so you’ve written your fear or the issue at the top of your paper. Here’s the process.

RELATED: How to Process Emotional Triggers Without Needing Therapy

5-7 Questions to Ask Yourself

First question to ask yourself, “Why does this bother me? Why do I have this problem? Why does this keep getting in my way? Why is it a problem?” Write down the very first thing, the very first answer that came to you. That’s number one. Then you’re going to do this again.

Write a number two, and with that reason that you wrote down at number one, I want you to look at that and say, “Okay, why does this bother me? Why does this thing matter? Why does it matter? Why do I not want it?” Then write that response to your question of why on line number two.

You’re going to do the same thing again for number three. Look at reason number two, and ask yourself, “Why does this bother me? Why do I not want this?” And then you’re going to dig a little deeper and write down that first response on line number three, etc.

You’re going to repeat this process at least five times. It’s why it’s called the 5 Whys. You have to dig down at least five layers deep, 5 to 7 is usually how far you need to go. So it will look like this:


  1. Why does this issue bother me?
  2. Why does the answer to #1 bother me?
  3. Why does the answer to #2 bother me?
  4. Why does the answer to #3 bother me?
  5. Why does the answer to #4 bother me?

Accepting Your Core Reason Why

You’re going to know as soon as you get to the bottom; you’re going to know. The energy will shift as you have this new sudden awareness of the deep core reason why something is bothering you. Now take a deep breath, you’re okay.

As you go through this process, you’re going to see that this deep core reason is actually not true. It legitimately does not matter. It’s often some variant of you need feeling good enough about something. Bollux.

If you have a hard time believing that, I want you to look back on your life. Think, with your core reason, your core deep why underneath. Ask yourself, “Okay, where in my life is this not true?” And Spirit’s going to answer, your intuition is going to answer that question for you. It’s going to show you proof and evidence where that deep core reason why is not true. You’ve simply built deep layers over something to protect yourself, which is why you couldn’t see it at first, and that’s okay.

Now that you’ve uncovered this, you can see it’s the source of a cycle or pattern. It is not you, it is not part of you, it is simply something that you’ve picked up along the way. Because you can look at it, you’ve set yourself apart from it, and you can recognize it as, “Oh, this actually isn’t what I thought.” From here, if you feel a deeper need to heal this core reason why, or work on it more, move on to your next step of healing that.

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How I Moved through My Deep Reason Why With Mindfulness For Healing It

My reasons for why I was scared with having this baby was because I thought it would mean a life of greater difficulty for me, greater difficulty for my baby because he could have issues or problems. I would have to learn how to take care of them, and we’d have to overcome a whole bunch of new struggles.

So, I dug a little deeper, and that bothered me because I thought, “Well, it’s going to cause greater pain for me as a mother to watch my child move through this, and greater pain for me in not knowing how to help.”

I couldn’t fix it, simply because of how old I was. And I dug a little deeper and I discovered that it bothers me because I straight up selfishly didn’t want that for my baby. I didn’t want that for me, didn’t want that struggle. I didn’t want that for my son. And why is it so bad to want a perfectly healthy child, no matter how old I am? What’s the matter with that?

Deeper Awareness By Still Going Through the Process

I dug a little deeper, kept going, and I realized the reason why I feel that way still is because I know that God can bless me and my son beyond my own ability. You know, you hear these stories of women in their 40s that have beautifully healthy children, no problem, no risk. (I certainly never want to have a child in my 40s!) But I thought, “I’m still young. I’m still healthy. Why can’t God just ensure that this works out for me?”

And I kept digging a little deeper. I realized why even more was because I wanted to be good enough. Good enough to receive that blessing of a healthy baby. I wanted to be good enough so that that strain would not land on my family. I was measuring my value as a mother against something I could not control, at all.

When I realized how ridiculous this was, I stepped back and changed my perspective. I’d already had three healthy babies, I could certainly have another one. Then I left it at that, and he was fine and healthy.

RELATED: You Always Receive Miracles In Disguise

What to do With This New Mindfulness For Healing Your Issue

Whatever you feel is needed next, you can move on to taking care of it more as you see fit. Some options can include:

  • through your shadow work
  • therapy
  • spiritual practices
  • meditation
  • whatever works for you.

But if you find that core reason, your deep why, is laughable and funny and ridiculous, that’s great. It’s not a problem you may have to work on deeply. You can move on to the next steps of what’s next with your life.

Don’t be critical of yourself if you find this core reason why to be a detrimental problem that keeps cropping up. Try different things to work on it on a regular basis. You’ll only improve deeply and it will bleed into other areas of your life in positive ways, all with a little mindfulness for healing.

RELATED: What to Do When You Forget What Makes You Happy

Benefits With Mindfulness For Healing Even When It’s Not About You

If you realize that when someone else triggers you, or someone else has a problem with you, or they blame you for something, they project onto you… remember the 5 Whys. Remember this deep reason why that they’re angry with you has nothing to do with you. Because if they went through this practice too, digging down deep into their own layers, they would find their core reason why they’re upset with you or have a problem with you has nothing to do with you at all.

When we start to realize this and cast awareness on it more and more, it helps ease our relationships. It helps ease our connection with our self. That knowledge helps us take a more empowered step forward to create change, to do better, to take different actions, and to do something because you truly know these harmful reasons why aren’t true.

The core values you have, the better reasons why you’re going to act, you’re going to follow your desires in your life based on stronger foundations that are legitimate and healthy. That is the power of using simple mindfulness for healing yourself and your life.

Using 5 Whys Mindfulness For Healing Everyday

Through this 5 Whys mindfulness for healing process, we can dig into the core reasons behind our emotions, and it opens the way for better understanding and growth of who we are and where we’re at.

  • Identify the Issue: Begin by writing down the problem or fear that is on your mind.
  • Ask the First “Why”: Explore why this issue bothers you or why it is a problem.
  • Repeat the Process: Continue asking “why” for each answer, digging deeper with each layer.
  • Reach the Core: After at least five rounds, you will uncover the root cause of your struggle.
  • Acknowledge and Release: Understand that this core reason is not true or doesn’t define you.
  • Changing Actions: Move forward with healing, whether through shadow work, therapy, or meditation.

Remember, the insights gained from this process reveal that often what bothers us is rooted in false beliefs or protective layers we’ve built over a long time. So, take a deep breath, trust the process, and keep going. Your path to inner peace and healing begins with a single step into the deep feelings of your own awareness.


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